The Single Momma
To the single mommas; you are superheroes you do it all, cook, clean, laundry, bring home the bread, run all the errands, take out the trash, do all the yard work, etc. take care of your babies 24/7 365 without a break. YOU do it all without a blink of an eye! What your little one(s) need you do what you have to do to get it done! Whether you started your journey of mommy hood on your own or just recently like myself joined the single Momma's club over a year ago. (I won't lie, I took my daughters father's help for granted) my hat goes off to you! This has been the toughest year of my life feeling like I couldn't get into a groove until right around that year mark. I feel like both Myah and I are now used to our new normal. Now that I am both mom and dad majority of the time with the exception of the two days a week her dad takes her, it's all mommy all the time and we have developed a bond like no other! I literally am raising my best friend and I wouldn't change it for the world. Now if I literally wasn't having to reason with the 3 year old version of myself it would probably be a little easier... Yes mom I know it's called KARMA! But she is literally my attitude as a teenager at three years old. How is this even possible. She is either hot or cold , sweet as pie or sassy AF no joke. But I have a confession to make I feel like a complete Hot Mess most of the time, I know that I can't be the only one... then again maybe I am. The constant feeling like I am somehow failing my daughter by my failed marriage with her father, haunts my thoughts and feelings while I am awake and asleep! Also feeling guilty for wanting a couple hours a day to go to the gym to work on my health and fitness, am I wrong for that? On the other hand I remind myself that I was not the one who cheated, and wanted a divorce and decided to leave that was all him. I bossed up like the bad bitch I am. (Yes I listened to Good as Hell by Lizzo a lot) Looking back it was probably for the best that her dad decided that a life married to me was not for him because if I am truly being honest I wasn't happy. I just didn't wanna get divorced like my parents did and have my daughter feel like I did, but I know what not to do. I have become my best self which is a much stronger and happier person and I am actually not afraid to be alone and I don't feel like I am nothing without a man to tell me I am great! Cause I can do bad all by myself.
I am raising my daughter to love herself and to always be true to what feels right for her no matter what society thinks. Because you are the only person that will be there at the end of the day. To be all the way honest I had so many so called "friends." When the news broke that her dad had left no one was there for me, to see if I was okay when I wasn't at first. But I got myself through and have realized that I am the only person I can always count on 100 percent of the time. And that's okay I just have learned so much from all of these experiences. I have come to the realization it's ok to walk my fine ass out that door. To start over, to find my true self, to be my best self not only for me but for Myah. To follow my dreams even at 32. And that it is okay for me to be in my relationship for the rest of my life and not get married to him and that doesn't change our love or our commitment to one another. So ladies it's okay to be you, be your best self for you and your children whatever that maybe. Because you deserve to be happy and your kids deserve to see their Momma happy! Last but not least to my own mother who raised us all as a single momma I understand everything now, and I am sorry I never thanked you for everything you did for me then, I love you and thank you for always having my back.